Your inbox is getting sweaty

Hello hello — a current goal of mine is to separate writing into much clearer categories of what I write “for joy + life” v what I write “for money”. 

Can you relate? 

Right now, I’m looking for new clients, particularly people looking for support with email strategy. 

I notice when I’m looking for new clients that unless I check myself, my writing EVERYWHERE (even the fiction) can get… well, a little desperate sounding.

So, with this in mind, I’m sharing an old email from the archives, mostly as a reminder to myself. We don’t have to live like this! 

You are valuable, fuck capitalism, and have a wonderful weekend. :)

—

Listen.

I am pro-authentic and genuine email writing.

Obviously.

These emails regularly include stories I’m just barely no longer embarrassed by.

I’ve totally overdisclosed in emails before: trying to find a balance between honesty and oversharing but uh, not always quite finding it. 

But something I find really bizarre, even knowing the ~Market Forces~ behind it, is 

email subject lines from major organizations.

They‘re… kind of a lot.

They would be weird coming from someone you had an intense relationship with, some level of emotional care for. 

So, coming from large multi million dollar political campaigns?

It’s very very weird.

Even weirder: they only put the feelings in the subject line.

So its starts with: “H — what about your commitment?”

Then you open the email, feeling tense, waiting for some moment of Judgement, and the rest of the email is like — “anyway, donate $12 right now so we can run more TV ads bye”

Here are some examples.

The following are all real email subjects from major political organizations. (law and order noise)

YOUR NAME.... thinking about you.

re: am I crazy?????

FWD: about last night.

YOUR NAME, are you there?

Feeling desperate 😅

I hate doing this.

let’s go for a drive.

Hey... can you talk?

We need you.

Can I just explain?

I cant believe this.

YOUR NAME.... is it over?

—

Whew. 

Let’s take a deep breath. 

Everyone ok?

Here are some takeaways. 

First of all —

You don’t have to live like this, DNC.

No matter how much big time small donor Boomer money you’re getting out of these emails.

But if you still feel you must: 

Commit to the bit. 

Follow those post-breakup texts with some emotion, or better yet, emails people actually want to read.

Otherwise.

By 2024 we’re all going to be getting texts like 

“hey, u up?”

And I don’t think my blood pressure can handle that. 

• H PS — If you want, you can read more about this trend here, with many bone chilling quotes from campaign email managers.