Notes on Feednet: Adam + Steve

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Notes on Feednet: Adam + Steve

hi, When I was 13, my hometown youth theater did an original production about the antiwar movement.   I started the email this way so you would know what you’re getting into.  The director was a ponytail guy with weird energy. As far as I know, the weird energy was more about his discomfort with teenagers than anything nefarious.   One day he got tired of us - or maybe just tired of teenagers generally. He decided we would take a break to act out a modern political debate to teach us about empathy.   At one point he had told us we would act out the immigration debate, but something about this 98.8% white group of teens made him think better of it.  So he went with gay marriage, the hot button issue of 2005.  We were skeptical of any full cast theatrical exercise, an intrusion into the hours when everyone with a number in their character name got to play MASH + drink Fresca.   He demanded volunteers for two parts: one pro gay marriage, one anti-gay marriage.   Adam volunteered immediately to play the pro gay marriage role.   Adam was the first gay person I met under the age of 45, one of the only out gay people in our town. He had a carabiner and a cell phone holster. He was the first person to tell me about this new show called the l word.   He was also a lightning rod for the classic early 00s sentiment “gay is fine... but not like that.”   He was also hard to be around, alternating between condescension and overzealous righteousness.

After Adam volunteered to play the pro gay marriage side, the room was silent.  Until Steve volunteered to play “against.”

Steve was the only other gay person under 45 I had ever met: he introduced me to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, talking about your crush obsessively as part of friendship, and Britney Spears, the patron saint of white midwest homosexuality (in 2005 Stefani hadn’t even dropped out of art school yet).

That he was arguing against the evangelical side, Adam still took a Mike Pence approach to the debate — uncomfortable, sweating, but still assured of righteousness.

“Has anyone at YOUR church ever spoken with a gay person?“ he asked Steve. “Do you have any facts or statistics that show gay people are less good at parenting?”

Steve was a high camp Pat Robertson. Most of his arguments were stolen from the signs held by Westburo Baptist Church children every time the theater did sondheim.  God HATES fags,” Steve thundered in response, “and THAT is the word of the LORD!”

Ru Paul‘s performance in “but I’m a cheerleader” was by comparison, somewhat subtle, with Clint Eastwood restraint.

A few minutes in, the director stopped the two of them and broke for lunch, acquiescing to the pointlessness of the exercise.

The room broke into wild applause.

Steve did a number of bows, then a curtesy.

nevertheless, Adam persisted. Somehow, he hadn’t noticed the audacity of Steve’s performance.

“I made a lot of really good points,” he said to all of us, “ He had a really hard time engaging with the rationality of my arguments — he never shared any actual statistics!”

Steve had moved on, trying to get a Fresca out of the soda machine with five dimes. But hearing this, he paused.

“You know I... don’t believe any of the things I said, right?” Steve sounded almost serious, a terrifying prospect. “I... also think gay people should be able to get married.”

Adam didn’t respond — because maybe he couldn’t. At least, not without leaving the room in his head where the person he had been telling off lived.

Steve’s performance that day captured something that I wouldn’t understand in words until my most pretentious liberal arts school class.

The performance of condemning gender deviance is like... pretty gay.

But looking back, Adam’s performance also captured something.

The adage that unites everyone queer who have nothing else in common.

‘hurt people hurt people’.      have a good week!

• H   PS — names have been changed because I’m still friends with these people on costar